I collect books and while my kids were little(r) we acquired hundreds of picture books. They sit mostly unattended on our shelves now, although occasionally I still find a stack tucked under Teddy’s comforter in the morning. I was reminded of one my favorites while considering my resolutions for the new year. It’s a book about manners titled Do Unto Otters. It cleverly tells the story of a nice family of otters, The Otters, who recently move into a new neighborhood. But the other animals worry they may not like their new neighbors, so Mr. Rabbit suggests they try to “do unto otters as you would have otters do unto you.” And so the neighbors begin to list all the ways they’d like to be treated. Naturally, they’d like the Otters to be friendly, polite, honest, considerate, kind, and forgiving.

The Golden Rule is a moral principal found in almost all cultures, meaning that it it might just be part of human nature. So in essence, it should be easy to apply. My problem isn’t how I treat others; it’s how I treat myself.

This year I am resolving to turn the Golden Rule around. Instead of treating others how I’d like to be treated I am going to work on treating myself that way. Like many women I know, I am a long sufferer of self-criticism and struggle with self-acceptance.

Just consider this: I am a 5’9” and 140lb. 45-year-old woman. I’ve given birth to three babies, carried a twin pregnancy to term, and breastfed each of my babies for a year. I run 15-20 miles a week, practice yoga 2x a week, bike, ski, hike, play tennis, and swim regularly. With crampons and an ice pick I reached the 14,179' summit of Mt. Shasta, and last month I trekked 50 miles in the Peruvian Andes and climbed over the 15,200’ Salkantay pass. And yet, on most days I dislike my body. When I look in the mirror I see the imperfections, the signs of aging, the marks of past pregnancies. If I were reading this instead of writing it, I’d think I was crazy. Who couldn’t love a body that allows them to do all these incredible things? And if it were anyone else's I know I'd admire its' strength, ability, and imperfect beauty.

I started this blog on perspective because I heartily believed in the importance of broadening it. But how we see ourselves is generally how we see others, too, which is why this feels like an urgent resolution. Cultivating self-love means treating ourselves with respect, kindness, compassion, forgiveness and affection.

Only then can we truly be an otter.